Being Free in the River of Life – Why Systemic Work Is So Valuable

For years, I couldn’t explain it. Every time I traveled to Germany, I felt a heaviness – palpable even at the border, as if I were stepping into another world. I didn’t know why, but it was always there. For a long time, I assumed that was just the way it was. Only later did I understand: I was carrying a story that wasn’t my own.

What Is Systemic Work?

Systemic work reveals invisible patterns within families. Often, we unconsciously assume roles or burdens. Its goal is to recognize these entanglements, let them go, and reclaim our own place in life – with understanding instead of guilt or resentment.

An Inheritance I Unknowingly Carried

My mother, born in Germany during World War II, grew up in a time marked by fear and unspoken guilt. Although she loved me with all her heart, the emotional scars and consequences of her past prevented her from giving me the protection and support I so desperately needed.

Instead, I became the strong daughter early on—showing understanding, enduring, and carrying burdens that were never meant for me. I became the emotional pillar, even though I was far too young to bear such a load.

Systemic Work: From Recognition to Release

For a long time, I tried to simply accept it. But the older I got, the clearer it became: it doesn’t have to be this way. I began to face my story – even when it hurt. And then came the most important step: I made a conscious decision not to carry this burden any further — a burden that had left many marks on me as well. But insight alone wasn’t enough – I had to be willing to leave the past where it belongs.

The Result: Freedom Feels Damn Good

It was a process, but eventually everything clicked. I realized that I no longer had to feel responsible for a past that wasn’t mine to begin with. Today, I travel to Germany without an invisible guilt weighing me down. I have made peace—with myself, with my mother, with the past. For the first time, I truly stand in my own place—light, free, completely myself. The burdens that accompanied me for so long are no longer mine. And that is true freedom.

A Thank You to Those Who Accompanied Me

My heartfelt thanks go to my mentor Colleen-Joy, who opened new doors for me through systemic coaching. The book Bloodlines & Baggage by Pam Roux & Colleen-Joy also became a key tool on this journey.

A heartfelt thank you to my partner Patrik Forrer, who, with the patience of a Zen master, held space for my endless thought spirals, waves of insight, and floods of tears – and still chose to stay by my side.

What are you still carrying, even though it doesn’t belong to you?

With warmth

Caroline